This bizarre course description is a Cool Golf Thing

The game does not have to be that serious. It's nice when courses understand that.
A fall day view from a tee at Amherst Country Club.

Golf courses, like many golfers, tend to take themselves a bit seriously. Just like a golfer who sulks the rest of the round after a double-bogey on the first hole, there are certain telltale signs of a fairly serious golf course. One indicator is a literal sign posted near the first tee with an imperious list of course rules, many of them beginning with "NO" or "DO NOT" in bold, leering letters.

Similar brusque admonitions often appear on golf course websites as well. I'm particularly amused by private clubs that publish long detailed breakdowns of their dress codes for all to see and fear. These notices, often well-meaning enough, nevertheless put a visitor on the back foot, apprehensive of setting a toe out of line.

On the flip side, there are courses like Amherst Country Club in southern New Hampshire. I have not yet had the pleasure of visiting but judging by its website, it seems like a place that does not take itself at all seriously. The tip-off as to its relaxed ethos is its course information page, which amounts less to a rote sequential description of the course than a sardonic creative writing piece by someone who truly understands what it means to toil at golf. Its subtitle sets the stage: "A Hole By Hole Tale Of Progressing Psychological Dismay."

"Welcome to what may/may not become your worst/best decision of the day/week/month," reads the first sentence of the first hole "description," and the piece builds to a weird climax at hole 13, which reads, "I've never actually played this hole. Let me know how it goes: chad@playamherst.com."

A public golf course with a postmodernist-absurdist hole-by-hole narrative? I need to get to New Hampshire soon.

1 Min Read
August 2, 2019
This politely-worded prohibition is a Cool Golf Thing

Tim Gavrich is a Senior Writer for GolfPass. Follow him on Twitter @TimGavrich and on Instagram @TimGavrich.
1 Comments
Commented on

Love it!

More from the author
4 Min Read
November 26, 2023
Whether on arrival day, getaway day or a layover, you'll be glad you squeezed in a round at these courses.
3 Min Read
November 26, 2023
From lightning to thunder-punches, disaster can strike on the golf course.
3 Min Read
November 20, 2023
As black-and-white photos of new golf equipment appear on the USGA and R&A equipment lists, we're getting excited about trying out some new clubs for the 2024 season.
4 Min Read
November 15, 2023
From Pebble Beach to Greece, the possibilities for a bucket-list trip span continents.
4 Min Read
November 15, 2023
The streaming giant picked golf as the medium for its foray into live sports. How did it go?
3 Min Read
November 12, 2023
Rounds at tough-to-access private clubs, luxury travel experiences and more are on offer, all for a good cause.
Popular
28 Images
October 29, 2023
Have your fall rounds been a trick, or a treat?
1 Min Read
October 30, 2023
Most golfers visit Royal Dornoch to play the championship links, but they should also wander down to the 18th tee of the Struie Course to pay their respects to the grave of Janet Horne.
3 Min Read
November 8, 2023
Starting in 2024, par-3 courses will be eligible to receive Rating and Slope figures in order to contribute to golfers' handicaps.
4 Min Read
November 20, 2023
The former Jewel Dunn's River Beach Resort & Spa has been completely transformed into the Caribbean's newest golf resort.
Now Reading
This bizarre course description is a Cool Golf Thing